Attack of the Teletubby Clones pt. 2 (read pt.1)

"Birger... you idiot," Tinky-Winky said meanly.
"That's not nice," I said.
"I don't care about what's nice and what's not nice!" Tinky-Winky shouted.
"Aw, why do we have to tell him anything?" Dipsy asked.
"Yeah, let's just chop the porker up!" Poe said evilly.
"Mmmm... pork chops," I said.
"Shut your half-wit pie holes!" Lala said. "The master is speaking. Tinky-Winky?"
"Thank you, Lala," Tinky-Winky said. "And if you all don't stop talking out of turn, I will call the vacuum elephant janitor thingy on you and he will turn you into pudding."
The vacuum man... Oh no.
"Long ago..." Tinky-Winky began. "I was a law student."
"Oh, you were not!" Poe began. "We were all hippies living in trailers outside a big manufacturing company."
"Oh pudding elephant janitor vacuum thingy!" Tinky-Winky shouted.
The vacuum man appeared out of the corner! I screamed and Poe did too. He started to run but the vacuum thing dragged him/her/it kicking and screaming into the other room.
I shuddered. "That's a gonna be some nasty pudding. What a waste of a good dessert!" I whispered. Tinky-Winky kicked me.
"That's it! I'm going to tell the story and I want NO interruptions!" Tinky-Winky roared. He looked around to see if anyone looked like they were about to talk.
No one was.
"Thank you. Alright, I was trying to play it cool, but stupid Poe revealed us. We were, sort of... ugh, we were hippies. We were camping out in trailers in front of a manufacturing company because they were dumping in a river and we were going to protest. So we protested a few days and finally when nothing happened, we threatened to jump in the river to prove its pollution was very out of hand. They still didn't do anything... so... we jumped. When we were fished out, we realized that the river was not just polluted, it was nuclear. And we had become the freaks we are because of it. But did the government get our point? No, they deported us to Mercury because they thought we were illegal aliens that had also trespassed onto private property. That's why were in this stupid unrealistic world with a baby on the face of the sun!"
Lala moaned in horror.
"Then they sent a camera crew out here and forced us to talk weird. It was originally a reality TV show entitled "Can You Handle Mercury?" but then the producers realized they'd make more money off of it if they just turned it into baby stimulation and stuck it on PBS!" Tinky-Winky shouted angrily.
"That kinda sucks," I said sympathetically.
"Kinda? Yeah, it kinda sucks," Dipsy said sadly.
"But, here's our proposition: Give us your cloning potion so that we can clone ourselves a million times and take over the world, and we'll set you free," Tinky-Winky said.
"Sure," I said, and I handed him the potion.
"MINE!!!! FINALLY MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tinky-Winky screamed. The three of them chugged it and there were suddenly a whole bunch of baby radioactive tellytubbies sitting around in the room. They were loud and stinky and looked sort of like pigs.
"Wha-what happened?" Lala asked. "These stupid babies won't help us take over the world!"
Tinky-Winky looked around helplessly. "Okay, Birg, change of plans. You raise our babies until they're old enough to help us take over the world, and then we'll set you free."
"No!" I said. "I don't wanna take care of your stupid babies."
"Do it or we're giving you to the pudding elephant vacuum cleaner thing on you!" Dipsy threatened. "He likes fatty meats."
"Are you calling me fat?!" I gasped. "No you didn't!"
"Well, how about we 'pay' you to be our babysitter?" Tinky-Winky said.
"How much?" I asked.
"Hrm... well, I guess we could give you a slice of bologna every hour," Lala said.
I thought about it.
"Deal!" I said.
But fifteen minutes later I was starting to reconsider. The babies were smelly loud and ugly. I hated them. And they weren't cute like they're supposed to be. They had antennae growing out of their heads and they were weird colors and they were spitting up all over their little televisions in their stomachs. I was fine with it until one of them spat up all over the Superbowl I was trying to watch.
"Hey, c'mon, I was watching that!" I said. The stupid thing just spat up more.
I stood up and suddenly they were all spitting up and farting and screaming and blowing snot bubbles. It smelled and it was loud and they were soooo ugly!
"I HATE YOU STUPID BABIES!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed.
Then they all started crying and I had a spaz attack.
"Geebitanghalnoaghadraaangh!" I whimpered and I collapsed on the floor.
"Birger!" a voice said.
"God?" I asked.
"BIRGER," it said louder. Suddenly my face was hurting. "WAKE UP!!!!"
Suddenly I was awake and lying in the middle of a big room where there were lots of people with cameras and laptops and stuff.
"Hi, peeps," I said.
"Birger! Thank God you woke up!" Rosa sighed.
"Aw, did you think I was hurt?" I asked.
"No, if you didn't wake up soon, the CIA would have our heads," Rosa said, gesturing towards Axel, who was standing there angrily.
"So, Birger," Axel said. "Where are they?"
"Those stupid tellytubby babies? I don't know, probably still spitting up on their ugly selves in the tellytubby lair," I said.
Rosa looked at Axel. "Boy, he has weird dreams," she said. "Well, no Birger. We're talking about the terrorists. Where are they?"
"The wha?"
"You screamed that there were terrorists. The elevator camera got it all tape," Axel explained. He pointed at a television. They played me running into the elevator screaming something about terrorists.
"OOOOHHH," I said scarily. "The vacuum pudding elephant thingy is zapping Poe into pudding. I think in the lair of the tellytubbies."
Axel looked disgusted. "This is all about a stupid character on Tellytubbies?"
"I know!" I said disgustedly.
"Oh god," Rosa moaned.
"Well, we better teleport outta here because the CIA will have our heads for this facade," Axel said awkwardly. He fingered with the remote and were outta there. ZAP.