Attack of the Teletubby Clones pt. 1

"Alright, well, that was a complete failure," Axel sighed about our earlier attempt to capture Randy in Amelia Earhart's airplane. "Well, let's see... the tracking system says the easiest way to capture Randy would be to go to the nose of the sphynx..."
"I'll pass," Rosa said, collapsing on a couch.
"Pardon?" Axel said, looking up from the screen.
"I said, I'll pass. I don't want to look for Randy right now. I just want a break!" Rosa replied.
"We can take a break! What if Randy causes any trouble while we're being all breaky?"
"So far, Birger has been the only one making trouble. We'll be doing the world a favor if we just stay put for a little bit," Rosa said.
"Yeah! Wha?" I said.
"Fine! I'm staying in the lab, though," Axel huffed.
Rosa sighed. "You have no life," she said. "You need to get out of the lab! You need to experience life! You need to--"
"I experience a heck of a lot of life, thank you very much!" Axel said angrily. "I mean, what with you and Birger always messing things up..."
"We're leaving! We don't need to stay with a workaholic loser! C'mon, Birger, let's get out of here! I'm going to the counterfeit machine and then I'm heading to the spa!" Rosa replied.
I scratched my head. "Do they have ping pong in the future?" I asked.
"How do you know about ping pong?" Axel asked.
"The fat kid that fell in the river was talking about it."
"Yeah, it's on the third floor."
"Schweet!"
I went to the elevator with Rosa and the doors started to close.
"No!!!!!" I screamed. "Trapped forever!" I jumped in the crack between the doors and got stuck. Rosa had to pull me out.
"It's just an elevator. You press this button and when the doors open, you'll be at the button's place," Rosa said.
"Magic?" I asked.
"No. Science."
... "Magic?" I asked.
Rosa sighed. "Whatever makes you stop talking." The doors closed and we stood there. I pressed a button and it lit up.
I gasped. "Pretty!" I said. I pressed all the buttons, and Rosa said it was lucky for us that we were only on floor three or else it'd be a long time before we reached our destination. She's dumb. She thinks this is all scientificul, but it's obviously magic.
The doors opened and we were on floor three! I ran out of the door and looked. "This is sooo cool!" I said. "Where's the ping pong table?"
"Not so fast," Rosa said. "We have to get money before we can go in the club that allows us to do this stuff." She pulled me to a little room on the side. "Axel said this is wrong, but I want to go the exclusive club spa," she said. She pressed a few buttons on a big magic machine and weird little green pieces of paper. "See! Money," she said. She grabbed some and handed it to me. "Here's a few hundred... have fun, but be back downstairs by five." She walked away and I stood around.
"You didn't even show me where the pingpong table was!" I said. I started walking towards a door. There were a whole bunch of people in there. It looked like the Overflowing Pint, but more high-tech.
I walked in. "Give me the most expensive stuff!" I said. "And I want to watch a baby stimulation television show on that television!"
The bartender looked at me funny. So did everyone else.
"Sorry, we don't do that," he said.
"I have a couple hundred," I said, not knowing what that meant. The guy looked at everyone else pleadingly, but they all got up groaning and left.
"Fine," the bartender said, taking my money and giving me some weird looking rum. "Here, how about... tellytubbies?"
"That sounds good!" I said, trying to get the cork out of the funky rum bottle. The man shook his head and used one of those remote things on the television.
"Hey! I have one of those!" I gasped. The bartender shook his head again.
I looked at the screen and dropped the weird looking rum on the floor. It shattered into a million pieces. The bartender looked mad!
"What?" I asked.
"That was the most expensive stuff in the bar!" the man whined. "And you wasted it!"
"Sorry!" I said. I looked at the screen again. "Hey! Why don't you have that vacuum cleaner guy clean it up!" That guy was so cool!
But then I looked at it longer... the vacuum cleaner man had the essence of Randy about him... that fake BFF meanie! And then I saw it... it sucked things up!
"Oh no!" I gasped. "It's making pudding! What does it make pudding out of!" I started crying and ran out of the bar and into the elevator.
"NOOOOO!!!! IT'S EVIL!!! IT'S A TERRORIST!!!!" I screamed in the elevator. Then a little thingamabobber popped out of the corner and sprayed a purple mist into the elevator. I was getting very woozy!
Suddenly, I knew what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a scientist! I fidgited around with some chemistry tubes and created a genius cloning device! "I have done it!" I shouted.
"Done wha?" Tinky-Winky asked.
"I made a cloning device!" I said.
"I knew woo could do ih," Poe said.
"You have dumb names and you talk funny," I said.
"Yes we do," the tellytubbies said.
I carried my genius invention into the hill house, and suddenly, arms flew out of the ground and trapped me! "Help!" I shouted.
"Be quiet! It's time to discover... the terrible truth about the 'adorable' tellytubbies," Tinky-Winky said evily.
"OH NO!!!!"
Tune in soon to see what happens to me!